Ever wondered National's view on climate change?

Here's a quick video, read the pop ups and listen to the words of our leaders!!

A Fairy Story from New Zealand

For all those who don't live in New Zealand let me tell you a story; all the facts in this are true, nothing has been made up.

Once upon a time there was a small country in the southern hemisphere; it had a centre left government that had reduced childhood poverty, banned corporal punishment of children, stopped smoking in bars, provided tax incentives to help families, decreased prescription charges and doctors fees, removed the interest from student loans and done many other nice things like increasing public sector salaries to decent levels.

Unfortunately the people of that land were upset by a few things. The indigenous people didn't like a law about beaches, a few people objected that they could no longer beat their children and many people thought another bunch could help them get richer. So it came to pass that one of the richest people in the country decided he would like to be in charge, but remember, behind any cheesy grin usually lurks a monster seeking to cause mayhem. The people had their chance to go for change, so they removed the centre left government, replacing it with a group of right wingers, backed by the indigenous people.

Cheesy Grin Man

So cheesy grin man sorts out his cabinet to government; first thing he does is he give a little man with a big attitude the job of being in charge of local government. The little man made a big decision and decided to scrap five elected local authorities and make them all into one (meanwhile the job of recruiting the most important jobs is given to the company owned by the former president of the party the cheesy grin man is the leader - must be just coincidence).

the little man with the big attitude

The little man with the big attitude also wants to come down hard on MP's abusing their privileges; very admirable I hear you say, well it would be, except the little man with the big attitude then was found to have spent $30000 taking his girlfriend to Europe and Hawaii at the tax payers expense. Naughty little man with the big attitude!!

Then another buddy of the government, a bit like a leprechaun this one; he thought it would be fun to skip a meeting at the European Union (that he had been paid to go to) and take his family on a day trip to Paris!!




In the mean time another of cheesy grin man's pals was given the job of minister of internal affairs; the pleasant man (pictured right) did a splendid job. He flew to India using his diplomatic passport and he spent his time (and the tax payers money) have lots and lots of meetings doing business on behalf of his aerospace business - naughty minister!! He later resigned after it was revealed he was he had been ever so suggestive and inappropriate to a Korean lady. Interestingly this man previously held the parliamentary seat held by the little man with the big attitude, but cheesy grin man encourage all the voters in that seat to vote for the little man with the big attitude  as this would help the nasty party get into government.

Mrs. Teacher Hater

Another friend of cheesy grin man, we'll call her  Mrs. Teacher hater, was put in charge of education. This nice lady removed much of the adult education funding; she also cut lots and lots of dollars from early education, as the previous people in charge had spent far too much money. Mrs. Teacher hater also told teachers, principals and board of trustees they had to do tests, which despite all the people in big universities telling her they don't work, Mrs. Teacher hater insisted they do them or be removed from their jobs. Scary Mrs. Teacher hater. To fund all the special tests Mrs. Teacher hater removed all the professional development money for teachers and used the $36 million to fund the tests that all the research has told her will not work; clever Mrs. Teacher hater.

The nice treasury minister (who had previously been found out for double dipping his housing allowance, claiming for a home in  his constituency that he rarely stayed in) decided the people had it too good, so thought he would raise the taxes on EVERYTHING that people buy by 2.5%. Unfortunately a finance company collapsed, so the nice minister gave all the rich investors all their money back and all their projected earning - kind treasury minister looking after his rich friends.

A friend of the little man with the big attitude, an identity thief with a history of violence, brought in a law that meant people who committed a third offense could be given a life sentence. Unfortunately the identity thief with a history of violence had a little history of his own; this individual had done a very bad thing and acquired a false passport fraudulently (using the identity of a dead child), then when found out lied under oath to a judge, not revealing he had a conviction for assault - naughty identity thief with a history of violence!!

the identity thief with a history of violence

So, the  little man with the big attitude had to do something, but neither him, nor cheesy grin man really thought it was that bad; eventually, after much media pressure the identity thief with a history of violence resigned from parliament.

The little man with the big attitude replaced him with a lady, surely a much better choice. This lady is far better, she's the lady who owns the property that is a brothel.





I would like to wish lady who owns the property that is a brothel all the best in working in the pantomime that is the current National government of New Zealand. You could NOT script more of a wacky tale.

Look, look, look

I am rapidly going off the word LOOK; I am not going off Look in the context of bike pedals, I love my Look bike pedals, they are great. No, I do dislike, with a passion, the use of the word look at the start of a sentence.

You cannot watch any news report in New Zealand without the person being interviewed saying “Look, it is like this, blah, blah, blah” OK, so grammatically they are not incorrect – they are clearly using it as per no. 7 in this definition.

Look – verb (used without object)

1. to turn one's eyes toward something or in some direction in order to see: He looked toward the western horizon and saw the returning planes.
2. to glance or gaze in a manner specified: to look questioningly at a person. 
3. to use one's sight or vision in seeking, searching, examining, watching, etc.: to look through the papers. 
4. to tend, as in bearing or significance: Conditions look toward war. 
5. to appear or seem to the eye as specified: to look pale. 
6. to appear or seem to the mind: The case looks promising. 
7. to direct attention or consideration: to look at the facts. 
8. to have an outlook or afford a view: The window looks upon the street. 
9. to face or front: The house looks to the east.

However, the way they use it is quite condescending, high and mighty, patronising and, generally in the case of National politicians, self-righteous. To support my case I offer the following examples (sorry, only word famous in New Zealand).

Garth McVicar  – Self appointed mouthpiece of that intrepid group the Sensible Sentencing Trust http://www.safe-nz.org.nz/index.htm, a group that wants to lock people up and throw away the key. This bloke starts everything with ‘Look’; must indicate the fact he thinks his opinion is the only one that matters.

John Key  – former merchant banker, multimillionaire, currently enjoy a career of destroying New Zealand as the PM. This bloke also struggles to start a sentence without the work ‘look’.

Greg O’Connor link  – the ‘one-eyed’ president of the Police Association; right up with the other two muppets in preaching the gospel according to Greg, and that’s right, every sentence generally starts with ‘look’.

I could give more examples (and I may search for some examples that are video evidence).

Austerity - the new black?

Austerity


aus•ter•i•ty

1. austere quality; severity of manner, life, etc.; sternness.
2. Usually, austerities. ascetic practices: austerities of monastery life.
3. strict economy.

—Synonyms
1.  harshness, strictness, asceticism, rigor.
2. See hardship.

—Antonyms
1.    leniency.


It seems to be pretty much the buzz word of the moment and in searching for an image to illustrate what I was trying to get at I found this poster image, which really tells it like it is.

It is a bit Marie Antoinette, let them eat cake, her famous catalyst for the French Revolution, the rich telling the average they must tighten their belts. This morning on the news there was a report on the Czech Republic where many of the public services are taking action in response to their government’s austerity measures. This got me inspired to ramble on about this.

Now, I have previously noted, I am not an economist, but neither am I a fool, illiterate, narrow minded or without opinion. The current global situation is, wait for that other word of the moment, unsustainable. Here in New Zealand the national debt increases by NZ$250 million per week – that’s $60 for every man, woman and child in the country, per week. So I guess we are all expected to cut back, save, be austere?

OK, so that’s what numerous centre right governments are proposing; in the mean time the likes of China, Taiwan and other eastern communities continue to mass produce and ship to western shores the ‘must haves’ that we, the consumer sheep that have been brainwashed by capitalist, global consumerism and the Disney Channel into never ending consumption of ‘not really needed’. There are other culprits in this game – Microsoft – lets update the operating system; OK , so now you need a new processor and RAM, oh, better chuck in a graphics card too! Oh, so that’s a new machine, but wait, you’ll need a printer to go with that, and a USB keyboard, etc… Same with TV’s, stereo, etc. We had a four megapixel digital camera, replace with a 7.2 and since replace with a 10mp – can I tell the difference between the images?

So, we tighten our belts and stop giving our money to China; but hang on, as a proportion the money we save is minuscule in comparison to the tax SAVINGS that have been handed out to the rich. Similarly, isn’t it the rich bankers who got us into this mess via their personal game of poker with our money? So why not tax the right? The right wingers reading this are saying “they will move overseas, stash their money somewhere safe” – true, if Bono does it, then why don’t others. Which is why you need a global approach; I’ll start being austere when the filthy rich start paying their share (seeing as they make from us already and use accountants to minimise their contributions).

Now here’s and interesting idea

"Most cruel joke of all, however, has been played by Hitler & Co. on those German capitalists and small businessmen who once backed National Socialism as a means of saving Germany's bourgeois economic structure from radicalism. The Nazi credo that the individual belongs to the state also applies to business. Some businesses have been confiscated outright, on other what amounts to a capital tax has been levied. Profits have been strictly controlled. Some idea of the increasing Governmental control and interference in business could be deduced from the fact that 80% of all building and 50% of all industrial orders in Germany originated last year with the Government. Hard-pressed for food- stuffs as well as funds, the Nazi regime has taken over large estates and in many instances collectivized agriculture, a procedure fundamentally similar to Russian Communism."

    (Source: Time Magazine; January 2, 1939.)

Old Adolf was a cruel bugger; I am not becoming a sympathizer, but I do remember from my ‘O’ grade history that he did something quite revolutionary. In the early 30’s Germany was skint, mass unemployment and they were the standing joke of Europe. Hitler didn’t like this, so he grabbed his opportunity and actually started to use the available labour to do some good for his people and his country. They rebuilt the industries, they made products (the VW Beetle) that people identified with, they built high quality roads and railways. When the economic decline ended who was the power house? Not the countries that had people NOT working, but the countries that had invested in infrastructure.

So what is my point; unless countries wise up, start investing in the whole of the country rather that the affluent few, we are all doomed! Need more examples?

On the news the other evening they were talking about Thomas Edison; the last light bulb factory in the US is set to close as they change to energy efficient bulbs, the majority of which are made in, yes that’s right, China. So, the USA will be reliant on other for light.

There is a car dealer in Rotorua, once up a time it was Range Rover and BMW; it then became just BMW; that lasted a couple of years before the became BMW and Mazda. A year or so later an BMW were gone and about 18 months later the geely Brand popped up. Who the hell are Geely? A Chinese car company, pretty big, they bought Volvo off Ford to bail them out of debt; they are already selling ‘Great Wall’ trucks, so it was only a matter of time; and will it only be a matter of time before the Mazda bit drops from the dealer?

So where will the profits of all the industrious Chinese companies end up, not in our treasury. How long before all Western Countries have to do is fight other peoples wars, hang out at Ronnie’s Golden Arches and die from obesity?

By the way recently I have rediscovered the joys of the Arctic Monkeys - there is a lot to be said for the joys of a Yorkshire accent and vocalists who have smart lyrics and don't sound phoney.

Airlines and price gouging

Last week the secondary teachers in New Zealand had a days industrial action, in the main making a stand for smaller classes and better learning conditions, but also a salary increase; unsurprisingly the clown currently running the country turned it into a case of 'those greedy, over paid, under worked, socialist pigs' -v- the poor defenseless tax payer. Where is this going? Well something I overheard was, but remember as teachers we have to pay a premium to go overseas on leave, which got me thinking, how true is this (I had guessed it would be).

We are thinking of going on one last big holiday with the kids before our eldest heads to Uni, so I started looking for next Easter.

One of the wonders of the internet is you can search all the airlines and find out how much they will gouge you for having the cheek to travel during the school holidays.

First up Air New Zealand - looking at travel before Easter you can get an outbound flight to Brisbane for the pricely sum of $99, or $119 if you actually want to take a case; inbound is a little more expensive, but for the full family the cost would be $1933; leave till after Good Friday and guess what the cost for a family of five is nearer $2600 for the same flights, nearly $700 more. Of course the argument of supply and demand comes into the equation, but how can they justify expensive late booked fares on half empty aircraft when you need to travel at short notice?

The big red kangaroo of Qantas fares (like the pun) no better; their cheapest deal comes in at $2100, although you do get a meal included in the price. Try the holidays and they up the price by $600, or $120 per person. So the teachers make a fair point.

Emirates sometimes offer good deals, so they were the next choice - plus they have wide bodied jets, good inflight entertainment and copious booze! Now I wasn't expecting this; outside of the holidays their fares were a stonking $2944 for the family, but during the holidays they dropped to $2655.40 - and unlike Air New Zealand we don't have to pay for drinks, meals, movies or anything else!

So what about the alleged 'low cost' operators? Pacific Blue manages to come in at $2210 for the clan, and like Emirates they do not seem to change during the holiday periods (although there are odd days where it fluctuates wildly). Jetstar come in at $2265 and are $10 extra per person, per seat at the weekend. But get this, Pacific Blue charge you $5 EXTRA (and thats per person) for booking online - what's that all about?

So what has this told us?

1. Generally teachers do have to pay more to go one holiday
2. Most airlines do add a bit on; quite a bit in the case of Qantas and Air New Zealand
3. My holidays will be cheaper once the kids leave the nest!!

The defence of the realm

A few years ago there was a load of stuff in the media regarding the Royal New Zealand Air Force and the loss of its strike capability. If you need to know the reasons behind this the full report is here . The long and the short of it was that as an island nation, many miles from anywhere, with no real enemy (except Australia at Rugby, Netball, Cricket, etc) - well OK, we aren't that chummy with Fiji at present, but that's because they had a military coup - we couldn't really justify many millions of dollars to buy a new fleet of fast jets to replace our classic 1970's Skyhawks. So why raise this now, surely the water has gone under the bridge? Well, the die hard military freaks keep saying we need a strike capabilty, that it is an essential item. Well, I don't like to say 'told you so', but over in Blighty they are getting rid of most of their Air Force. Yes that's right, the UK, round the corner from the eastern bloc, close friend of the US, collaborator and ally in Gulf War One, Gulf War Two and Afghani-nam, are getting rid of the majority of the RAF's frontline attack aircraft. Why, they can't afford to run them. As much as I love jet aircraft, they do cost a few bob to run; teaching the guys that have the cool job of flying them doesn't come cheap, nor is the fuel and maintenence.

So this raises an important question - should the New Zealand defence force actually have any armed force capability? Maybe we need to redirect our efforts in different ways. For the air more heavy lift and search and rescue capability, we can look after the pacific, support our island neighbours and catch out those dodgy fishing fleets; ditto for the navy, maritime search and rescue, more fisheries work, etc. For the army, how about redeploying them to be a fully paid civil defence; almost monthly we have floods, slips, forest fires, earthquakes, etc. Lets use them to protect the citizens of the country and leave those overseas to sort their own problems out.

On a happier note I read that there is a new Tricky album due out; the interview is pretty unreal, giving a real insight into how he thinks. Can't wait!!

Women, football and politics make the world go round...

And round and round....

I was down at football today, last day of the kids season and all games really were games of two halves, given the gale howling down the field. Whilst there I bumped into Iain Breadmore, a mate from the football club, who kindly offered a critique of this blog, basically an 'are you happy getting all that political shit off your chest?', which is a succinct appraisal of what I have been trying to do - right the wrongs of the world by my views, the pen is mightier than the sword (or in this case a Blogger blog).

It got me to thinking of a few things, namely the relationship between the fairer sex (of which my boy gave a very sexist appraisal at the dinner table - that's for another day), football and politics. Now as I have stated before, my views are my views, they are out there, they are open to challenge and often I will say stuff to provoke a reaction.

I love women - I also like girls, I can't say love, because that would have the risk of being perceived as being a member of a secret club like the Catholic Church, except their hierarchy prefer little boys, at least that's what the media says. Where would we be without strong women, the care of a mother and hey, if they hadn't popped us out, enough said.

So why football and politics? Well both are making major in roads to both; my baby plays in a mixed football team, they took out division three undefeated (in fact they didn't even drop a point) and the stand out players, in this correspondents opinion, were the girls. They got stuck in, did exactly what they were asked (well more than the boys anyway) and played with spirit and malice in equal measures. Ladies football shows that football is no longer a game for the boys. Which brings me to the next bit, politics. (The link here is that I enjoy a feature called 'The Knowledge', which is an irreverent and amusing look at football; I often end up on political pages as well).

Why oh why is it that white, middle class red neck American women with deluded ideas, think they can transform America? Enter exhibit one and exhibit two. First up is Alaska's favourite space cadet Sarah Palin, wannabe vice president, mate of George W Bush - a woman with the brains of a moose and the family from hell - her daughter is now on Dancing with the Stars in the US - wow, that adds to your credibility!! In a recent rant she pointed out that the failure of the Republican Party was down to extrnal factors outside her control

"It's been made absolutely clear that those who hold these, I think, common-sense and pretty mainstream positions, who are attacked, unfortunately, some destructive false shots don't just come from the far left, and that's what I'll admit to learning in these last couple of years.
"But those in the liberal media: you're worse for using, in that lamestream media, those unsubstantiated untrue hits, it's not fair to our country, it's not fair to the electorate, it's not fair to our democracy, and it is not fair to our troops willing to sacrifice all for our freedoms, journalists, ok?"

So, what gives you the right to invent words Sarah? 'Lamestream' - WTF??? She clearly doesn't like the press, but Sarah, you provide them with heaps of free ammo!

Enter stage extreme right exhibit two Christine O'Donnell. Spot the similarities, same scarlet jacket, same teethy grin (God loves his American orthodontists), same stupid ideas. From the Guardian article (the full bit is on the link) -

Her views on evolution, sexual purity and medical research have made her a figure of ridicule in the US media, as have her chaotic personal finances.

Today new details emerged of an interview with Fox's Bill O'Reilly in November 2007 in which she made the claim, without any foundation, that: "American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."

But grassroots supporters, many who regard the media as liberal and biased, see her as a welcome change from men in suits. O'Donnell's spokeswoman, Michelle Lauren, said the campaign's website had crashed on Tuesday night because of the volume of traffic generated by her win. Her campaign, which had until then been run on a shoestring, raised $850,000 in the first 24 hours, Lauren said.

So, it is all the media's fault, O'Donnell is clearly correct, labs are creating mice with human brains to take over the world - hang on, aren't you lot creationists who dismissed Darwin as mumbo jumbo?

The point - well, ladies continue to nurture your families, continue to be yourselves, enjoy and love football, but please, please, pretty please, do NOT hang out with Republicans, they will warp your mind, make you take positions well outside your competence, but more importantly make you look like a clown!