A Fairy Story from New Zealand

For all those who don't live in New Zealand let me tell you a story; all the facts in this are true, nothing has been made up.

Once upon a time there was a small country in the southern hemisphere; it had a centre left government that had reduced childhood poverty, banned corporal punishment of children, stopped smoking in bars, provided tax incentives to help families, decreased prescription charges and doctors fees, removed the interest from student loans and done many other nice things like increasing public sector salaries to decent levels.

Unfortunately the people of that land were upset by a few things. The indigenous people didn't like a law about beaches, a few people objected that they could no longer beat their children and many people thought another bunch could help them get richer. So it came to pass that one of the richest people in the country decided he would like to be in charge, but remember, behind any cheesy grin usually lurks a monster seeking to cause mayhem. The people had their chance to go for change, so they removed the centre left government, replacing it with a group of right wingers, backed by the indigenous people.

Cheesy Grin Man

So cheesy grin man sorts out his cabinet to government; first thing he does is he give a little man with a big attitude the job of being in charge of local government. The little man made a big decision and decided to scrap five elected local authorities and make them all into one (meanwhile the job of recruiting the most important jobs is given to the company owned by the former president of the party the cheesy grin man is the leader - must be just coincidence).

the little man with the big attitude

The little man with the big attitude also wants to come down hard on MP's abusing their privileges; very admirable I hear you say, well it would be, except the little man with the big attitude then was found to have spent $30000 taking his girlfriend to Europe and Hawaii at the tax payers expense. Naughty little man with the big attitude!!

Then another buddy of the government, a bit like a leprechaun this one; he thought it would be fun to skip a meeting at the European Union (that he had been paid to go to) and take his family on a day trip to Paris!!




In the mean time another of cheesy grin man's pals was given the job of minister of internal affairs; the pleasant man (pictured right) did a splendid job. He flew to India using his diplomatic passport and he spent his time (and the tax payers money) have lots and lots of meetings doing business on behalf of his aerospace business - naughty minister!! He later resigned after it was revealed he was he had been ever so suggestive and inappropriate to a Korean lady. Interestingly this man previously held the parliamentary seat held by the little man with the big attitude, but cheesy grin man encourage all the voters in that seat to vote for the little man with the big attitude  as this would help the nasty party get into government.

Mrs. Teacher Hater

Another friend of cheesy grin man, we'll call her  Mrs. Teacher hater, was put in charge of education. This nice lady removed much of the adult education funding; she also cut lots and lots of dollars from early education, as the previous people in charge had spent far too much money. Mrs. Teacher hater also told teachers, principals and board of trustees they had to do tests, which despite all the people in big universities telling her they don't work, Mrs. Teacher hater insisted they do them or be removed from their jobs. Scary Mrs. Teacher hater. To fund all the special tests Mrs. Teacher hater removed all the professional development money for teachers and used the $36 million to fund the tests that all the research has told her will not work; clever Mrs. Teacher hater.

The nice treasury minister (who had previously been found out for double dipping his housing allowance, claiming for a home in  his constituency that he rarely stayed in) decided the people had it too good, so thought he would raise the taxes on EVERYTHING that people buy by 2.5%. Unfortunately a finance company collapsed, so the nice minister gave all the rich investors all their money back and all their projected earning - kind treasury minister looking after his rich friends.

A friend of the little man with the big attitude, an identity thief with a history of violence, brought in a law that meant people who committed a third offense could be given a life sentence. Unfortunately the identity thief with a history of violence had a little history of his own; this individual had done a very bad thing and acquired a false passport fraudulently (using the identity of a dead child), then when found out lied under oath to a judge, not revealing he had a conviction for assault - naughty identity thief with a history of violence!!

the identity thief with a history of violence

So, the  little man with the big attitude had to do something, but neither him, nor cheesy grin man really thought it was that bad; eventually, after much media pressure the identity thief with a history of violence resigned from parliament.

The little man with the big attitude replaced him with a lady, surely a much better choice. This lady is far better, she's the lady who owns the property that is a brothel.





I would like to wish lady who owns the property that is a brothel all the best in working in the pantomime that is the current National government of New Zealand. You could NOT script more of a wacky tale.